Old Habits Die Hard

Last time I wrote about O, I was both surprised and confused that we were talking, days after meeting (and kissing) on New Years.

I don’t know now whether to say that things have improved/progressed slightly or stayed the same. True, we have been talking online almost every day, and I’ve gotten quite a few drunk texts (which I can’t say I’m ready to acknowledge as a bad thing).

We even tried to make plans to hang out on Saturday, once I got back to school (since he lives an hour away from me here). Unfortunately, I think his idea of hanging out and mine were totally different, and he suggested that I drive an hour away to go to a party at his friend’s apartment… right. Because that’s a safe thing to do by yourself.

I (politely, I think) declined, and told him that if he still wanted to get together he should let me know.. he said yes. However, I couldn’t help but revert to the nagging doubts that always creep in when I find myself in some new situation with a guy: what if I missed my window of opportunity? what if he doesn’t want to hang out with me now, because I’m making it too difficult? etc. etc.

How to Make Yourself Look Available

I am in no way, shape, or form an expert when it comes to picking up men. In fact, seeing as I haven’t been in a relationship in I-won’t-even-tell-you-how-long, I obviously should not be the person to give advice on the subject.

However, I can go out to a bar and come back with a guy’s number. And before you tell me that this is easy, and that any drunk guy will give any cute/drunk girl his number, I will have to disagree. At least, I think that there are some factors that can be controlled in your favor, making it easier for a guy to approach you. And if a guy is willing to approach you in the midst of your girl posse, he is either a) super ballsy, or b) there was something about you that really drew him in.

So let’s face it: it’s all about making yourself look available. But in a good way. A fun, easy-going, approachable way, so that by the end of the night you come home with a number. While it might not be your next relationship, it’s always good practice. (And always good fun!)

Here are a few things I’ve noticed seem to work (potentially) in order to snag yourself a guy:

Analyzing the New Guy is Partially Solved

I came across this “Field Guide to Guys” this evening, while perusing Glamour.com and my favorite dating blogs on the website.

I’ve gotta hand it to them – it’s pretty hilarious and well done. It’s so easy to read through all the stereotypes that they’ve listed by giving a guy a category, like Mr. Jealous, the Passionista, etc. You know exactly what kind of guy they’re talking about with each. Personally, I’ve dated number one, the “Sexy Foreigner,” and they definitely have a spot-on description.

Still, I feel like they missed a few… like, the Couch Potato, for example: the guy who is still living with mom and dad, unemployed, and whose idea of a good time is drinking beer and eating wings in front of the TV 24/7. But who, at a first meeting, appears to be laid-back and fun, thus drawing you in. Avoid this one.

I only wish that with this genius list of guy typing, they would have included a decoder, in order to actually snag one of these guys and keep them there… but I suppose that’s a whole other can of worms.

How Far Are Guys Willing to Go (Literally) for a Booty Call?

If you read my entry about New Year’s, you’ll know that I met a boy, whom I will refer to as O. from now on.

In any case, I had a great time with O. on New Year’s, but after he kept trying to persuade me to come back to his hotel with him I was ready to chalk it up to a drunken night out (ahem, on his part). After all, we all know how this story goes: girl meets boy in bar, girl hooks up with boy, boy asks girl for number, girl never hears from boy again.

I’ll spare repeating what I already blogged about, but I find myself in somewhat unchartered territory: we have continued to talk, via Facebook chat. Without trying to make this sound lame, of course… Regardless, I can assure you that one text the next day was enough to surprise me, never mind actually having a conversation with O.

I will say that it has been pretty equal in terms of who initiates the conversation, but this brings me to the subject of this blog (I know, I know, finally I’m getting to the point). I can’t help but wondering if this is someone who might actually be interested in talking to me, or someone who’s just looking for a booty call?

My Dating Resolutions for 2010

New year, new love life… at least I hope so.

I’m never actually any good at sticking with my resolutions, I always try to make a few, but I forget about them roughly three weeks later. However, I think that it’s always worth trying, and going with the topic of this blog, I think it’s appropriate to make a few resolutions that deal with the dating world.

1. Don’t over-analyze everything.
I need to relax about the details… no more worrying about whether I’m doing something wrong, or if I should have said/done something else instead. If it’s going to work out, it will work out on its own!

2. Have more confidence.

3. Take more chances.
The good kinds! (Not the dangerous ones) I can’t let myself be so afraid to try certain things.

4. But be careful of getting ahead of myself.
Sometimes I get too wrapped up with a new crush, talking to a new guy, etc. Sometimes I make it out to be way more than it is, when I need to learn to separate what I really feel with the excitement of the moment and the current situation. If I’m more aware of what it is that I’m really looking for, it’ll help me take better control of the situation.

5. Date more! =)

♥ melissa

New Year’s Eve 2010: Back in Action

Ok, so it’s been a few days since New Year’s, but it’s taken me about this long for my feet to recover from the brand new, 4-inch heels I bravely sported on New Year’s Eve.

It’s been even longer since I’ve had anything substantial to write about, but what better way to start off the new year than with a recap of my (successful!) New Year’s Eve…

I went into Boston with my best friend (and other blogger) Christine and some of her friends from school to celebrate New Year’s at a bar… now that we’re all 21, it seemed like the most appropriate, fun, albeit ridiculously expensive thing to do.

The days prior I ran around like a crazy person, scrambling to find a dress, shoes to match, and whatever other things I deemed necessary to pimp out my outfit. And let me say, I must have done something right…

The Tactical Call

I blinked and that was it.  The fall semester was over and boy was it a trip.

To be clearer, I worked hard and played harder.

It can’t come to much surprise though; it is my senior year and probably one of the most important semesters of my college career. It’s time to start thinking about the real world and what I actually want to do once college is over, however a little fun in between can’t hurt, right?

I entered this semester with little to no expectations. Relationships were out of the question. All I wanted were fun nights with the girls and random hookups, both of which I was successful in receiving. One hookup really stood out to me (not that I had guys lined up, because I didn’t), but I’d have to give him kudos for the way he went about things. I’m talking about a booty call, but not the kind you get at 12am, no this is the tactical booty call. It has the typical introduction of girl meets boy, boy flirts with girl and asks for number, and girl expects not to hear from him. NOT this guy. He called and wanted to go on a date. I thought it was odd considering he didn’t even wait a day; the mind games never stop. Despite all of this I decided to go on the date.

He picked me up, paid for my movie, complimented me at all the right times, and even opened car doors for me.

I thought this was too good to be true, especially as a college student where chivalry is non-existent. Anyway, I went back to his place to “hang out”, even though I knew what was going to happen, and I was quite alright with it. I spent the night and it was fun. After he drove me home the next morning, I thought to myself he was really nice, maybe I’ll actually hear from him. NOTHING. I initiated a text or two and he responded, but only out of politeness. To be honest, I wasn’t expecting to hear from him again. But I thought if I didn’t initiate communication at least once or twice, I would have wondered what could have been.

After replaying the night in my head, wondering if I did anything wrong or weird, I came to the conclusion that I didn’t do anything out of the ordinary. It was simply a booty call, a very clever booty call. It was covered up by the frills of a date, only to be unveiled as something else. I really can’t say that I’m surprised, considering I am a college student. This is basically normal behavior amongst males and females. I guess I’m just surprised at the way he went about it. This may sound extremely anti feminist, but I have to give him props! It may have been a one night stand, but at least he went about it the proper way, instead of just taking me home straight from the bar. Not that there is a RIGHT or WRONG way to go about a one night stand, but at least this guy was a little classier about it.

Hey, I may be completely wrong about all of this, but every girl deserves a date once in a while, even if it does end in sex.

When Guys Become Awkward

I was talking with one of my friends this afternoon, who told me about her weekend… which included a very drunken hook-up with one of her good guy friends (oh so college).

Although this guy is one of her best friends, she hasn’t heard from him since Saturday. And not that she was expecting anything to come out of this hookup (because 1. they were both drunk, and 2. he’s her best friend) she’s afraid of what will happen next. She expects he’ll just “make things awkward.”

Which got me thinking.. guys are ALWAYS awkward about this.

Back in Action… But Where Is It?

So this blog has been somewhat abandoned for a time now.. but now that I have a free moment (read: I’m staying in tonight to hang out in my PJs) I figured I would finally sit down and complain about the lack of men in my life.

Well, that may be a lie.

I do have a few stories, albeit very lame, just a disclaimer.

The first weekend I was at school I was at a party when I was re-introduced to a guy I had been in a class with freshman year. Now, I have this creepy ability of remembering faces or people, so I knew who he was and what class we had together, even though he looked  much different, three years later.

The kicker was that he remembered me. We chatted for a while, and I noticed that he seemed to be hanging around me, in the background. I had a feeling he might be interested, but I wasn’t sure how I felt about it, and I didn’t feel like devoting all my attention to him if he wasn’t going to actively participate in conversations.

So apparently as soon as I walked away, he asked my friend if I was single. My friend paused before responding “Um. No…” to which he asked “Is that a yes or a no?” Needless to say he left shortly after.

Other than that, there has been close to nothing. Granted it’s only been three weeks, but what’s the deal? Isn’t senior year supposed to be all about the random, crazy hook-ups?

Whatever. Maybe if I stopped being such a hermit this would be better…




♥ melissa

Ready for New Prospects

With less than a week until I move back into school, I find myself wondering what the semester will bring in terms of men/dating.

I can’t say that I’m terribly excited. My school is small, and now that I’m a senior, there’s only so many available (and actually appropriately datable) men left. What’s a girl to do with limited options?

Before I have anyone try to convince me that I should involve myself in numerous activities in the chance of meeting as many people as possible, I’ve done that. I happen to be quite involved (some of my friends may tell me that I do too much and I should give myself some time to sleep occassionally) for my own personal reasons and because I like what I do. However, I have never been on a date while in school, nor have I met anyone who seemed the least bit interested.